I took the liberty..

...of taking that last Quizilla on Nipples' behalf..  and wouldn't you just know...

You are Freya, the Goddess of Gayness and Dickmunching.
You alone control the power of Homosexuality.

Which Norse God are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Turns out that little bitch really IS gay after all!

BWAHA HAAAAAA

That's right, Bitches...

Is it May, yet?

*snarf* *chnak*

I'm not cranky anymore but I did NOT want to leave today.

It is so hard to not be with him.  Not in a "with-him-every-waking-moment-tell-me-where-you-are-and-who-you're-with" kind of way.. caust that's kind of "STALKER" -- but just around him more..  in the same zip code..  I wish I could wake up every day next to him and it kills me when 5:30 comes Monday mornings and that buzzer goes off.  I just want to hold on tighter and bury my head in his chest and just stay right there and pretend it's Saturday morning again.

Work is SO SLOW.  My supervisor isn't giving me any work despite my constant begging so I'm on the computer writing blog entries and resisting the urge to run out into traffic on Thorndale Ave. *sigh*

*snurf*

The dinner party was fun on Saturday..  DAMN I did a lot of cooking!!  I basically made it all up -- with the exception of the lasagne... but that's like a variation kind of thing so it was sort of made up.. I can never cook anything the same way twice.  It's sometimes similar..  but I'm a pinch and dash cook.. I rummage through the cabinets for interesting smelling spices and bright colors and textures to add to things.

There was enough food for 15 people (and then some)!  I cooked All. Day. Long.  I cleaned..  I did laundry.  I was wifey.. and our friends got there and they brought MORE food.. and wine.. and laughter.. and it was fantastic. 

And Sunday there was a MOUNTAIN of dishes to do.  I slept til 11 then started doing dishes at 12.  I was done by 2.. solid two hours of dishwashing.. OMG I thought I was going to die.  And the knives I got Mike for Christmas RULE!  Yes, I cut my finger and two fingernails (don't worry I got them out of the food).. I am the best knife-wielder EVAR!

So now I go back to my little apartment and my kitties who miss me.. and sleep alone in my bed and wish he was with me.  He snores and I fall asleep.  How messed up is that?  The apartment will be too quiet and I'll have to fall asleep with the radio on again.

*snurg*

While we were getting the place ready for the party, we were listening to music and some songs came on that made me think of the years I was singing in a jazz combo in Del Mar.. Mike asked me if I miss it and you know.. I really do.  It was like a drug or delicious rare candy.  I got to go to the Bonny Lad on Sundays.. and plug in a microphone.. and sing some great music for a couple of hours while regulars and non-regulars came and ate and listened.. and we'd drink Guinness and have fish & chips and we'd laugh and just enjoy making music.  Friends would drop by with their guitars or saxophones and sit in with us.. and we'd just play til it was too dark to see the faces at the tables anymore. 

There's a point at which it stops being performance and it starts being love.. those gigs at the Bonny Lad were love.

Seriously, this day cannot end fast enough. 

I have to run home and pick up some wine for the party at Mike's tomorrow night.. two very interesting Italians.. one white, one red.. both quite unexpected.. the white is dry and bright with fruit undertones but a tangy finish.. it's kind of sassy.  The red has a veritable expanse of cherry accompanied by a pungent aged followup and doesn't take up residence on the palatte.  Some reds hang too heavily on the tongue but this one.. it finishes clean..  very much like the Montepulciano I so enjoy (and yes, I've already got a bottle of that in the car).

Hey look at me becoming a wine snob!

Shut up, you know you wish you were as cool as me.

I can't wait to get up there.  I can't wait to see him.  I can't wait to smell his hair and feel it run between my fingers again.  I can't wait until his body temp goes up to about 159* at 3 in the morning like it always does so that I have to huddle to the edge of the bed to escape the blast furnace that is his ass.

I can't wait.  Must leave soon.  Work day won't end til 3:45.

*whimpers*

You know, I left the house early today to get here early so I could leave early.. funny how that works.. anyway..  it was chilly but still mild and I was kind of struck by the fact that the sun is coming up earlier now.. the sky was the prettiest morning color.. there were ribbons of pink in the sky and it was so nice.  It reminded me of early mornings in the desert where I grew up.. crisp and clear and bright with morning colors everywhere and the smell of cold air and new dayness. It made me think of walking barefoot on the morning sidewalks when it was still cold to the touch.. that sound of bare foot flopping onto concrete as I hurried wherever I was going.. It was a nice memory.

I think it's interesting.. the things that trigger memories in me lately.  Maybe I'm starting to get to a point where I can remember more of what I don't remember as a kid?  For instance, last night I had dinner at a great restaurant in Oak Park..  I sat down and ordered a drink -- and I wanted something I'd never had before.. so I ordered a Manhattan on the rocks.  I was thinking about how cozy this place was.. It reminded me of something I couldn't put my finger on.. it was comfortable and welcoming and I thought, yeah, this is the place I want to be right this instant.  Then my drink came and I took a sip and just smiled and smiled -- instantly transported to my five year old body.. sitting on my Pop-Pop's lap as he was reading the paper with one arm.. a small glass of his "medicine" on the right side chair arm.  I would always ask Pop-Pop for a taste of his medicine.. and he would let me have one sip.. but that taste always sets off one of those memories for me. 

Of course I found out later that he was probably having a highball.. but now I think it might have been a Manhattan. 

My Pop-Pop died when I was 6, so I never really got to know very much about him.  My grandmother is ornery and doesn't like to talk about him because it still makes her sad.. (31 years later).. so those few things I have of him manage to come back with a clarity that always surprises me.

I wish I'd known him better.